This has become something of a personal mantra for me in the course of everyday life. I often find myself whispering those words under my breath or repeating that line over in my head during times of doubt.
Obviously this statement has some presence in the everyday superficial elements of life… just because I have £100 in my purse doesn’t mean I should by a new bag.
What I want to reflect on here is the deeper realm, the mental challenge.
It is easy to get carried away, to push and challenge yourself, to feel obligated in taking on responsibilities. Often it is simply because we know we are capable of handling a situation, we feel that by default it is therefore our duty to see it through.
There is a blanket of guilt that engulfs us if we don’t.
Sometimes it is hard to know where to draw the line… we watch our happiness and contentment begin to slip away from but we carry on regardless because we can and therefore because we feel we should.
I’ve felt this most strongly within relationships with others. Without realising it you can end up with a very negative balance, where your capable and accommodating nature is taken for granted. Over time this will on serve to wear away at us, slowly at first such that you may not even notice it happening. Even when the questions begin to rise inside, we justify our continuation down that road with a guilt trip over a sense of failure if we ‘give up’ now.
I have a competitive personality; I always want to push myself and to ‘prove’ to myself…prove what is often something an unknown entity. I know that for me, I often find myself pursuing a fruitless goal purely because I don’t want to fail on the task I had originally set myself regardless of whether the circumstances may have changed. I feel that because I can do something I must honour its completion.
No…that isn’t how it should be. Guilt can distort our perspective and play us off against the physical and mental sides of our reasoning. Logic is all but lost in the battle.
We must be more accepting of circumstance, be aware of the situation and be analytical in our approach and understanding. Quite simply…be honest with yourself and be ready to hold your hands up and step away.