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Silent Sunday no. 56




What is my Silent Sunday ?

mindset, photographyjo hodson27 January 2013Comment
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Sitting in the sunshine in my conservatory. Noticing the overwhelm ebb and flow for no apparent reason. There were lots of things I had planned to do this morning before I hit the road for the Osho Leela festival. But instead I cleaned the house, made this big bowl of nourishing porridge with a mug of peppermint tea and I have given myself permission to take a little time out with the new @bekind_magazine magazine. So perfectly named for a morning like this.💛
I love @msrachelhollis books... this line in particular attracted me in her latest ‘Girl Stop Apologizing’. ⠀ I recently launched an interview series (to become a podcast) on the theme of ‘giving yourself permission’ and this quote aligns so well with that! PS watch this space for the interview series launching soon!!
Last week I was in Spain on holiday. But it wasn’t just an ordinary holiday. This was created as an opportunity for me to face one of my biggest fears. Driving on the wrong side of the road! It’s been something that has been increasingly bothering me for a number of years and more recently scenarios have popped up where it would’ve been useful for me to have driven. As I travel more I sense these opportunities will show up more and more. I realised that I didn’t want to miss out on an opportunity simply because I wasn’t prepared to drive on the other side of the road! I shared these fears with a friend. I shared with her my research on looking for a days European intensive driving course (which wasn’t cheap!) Then she proposed that we head off to Spain and stay in her parents apartment, and that she be the second driver as back up for me on the hire car. So that’s what we did! As it happens the entire holiday cost half the price that the days course would’ve done and I got a much richer experience because of it. As it happened I also forgot to add her as second driver so I had no choice but to do all the driving! Upon heading back to the airport on the final day, we came to the main road out of the town to find it shut off due to an annual triathlon race. There was no way to go and in the end a police motorbike had to escort us the wrong way down one-way streets to find an alternative route. I feel proud of finally facing my fears... of driving on the other side of the road, in the dark, re-routing round roadworks, on motorways, on small country roads, through towns, parking in a tight space in a multistorey car park, following behind a police escort, and often with a crying baby in the back seat! I even did a little trip to the supermarket on my own to try out a solo trip. So I went to Spain on holiday. A holiday to face my fears!
Today is the last day of #mentalhealthweek⠀ ⠀ At this time of writing it is also the last hour of the last day.⠀ ⠀ Today I notice.⠀ ⠀ I notice I haven't shared much so far this week. It's not that it isn't important to me, simply that I haven't had the words ready to articulate, to do the topic justice, and also since I was taking a little downtime from life and from social media whilst in Spain.⠀ ⠀ Today I notice how quickly the noise floods back in.⠀ ⠀ I notice my reactions. My awareness. The 'shoulds'. The expectations. The waves of the heavy energy.⠀ ⠀ I notice a sense of telling myself "it's a Sunday you shouldn't be working anyway", yet simultaneously a sense of desire and need to ease back in with emails. The reminders that I'd set on my phone as they popped into my had whilst I was away, began pinging off today. ⠀ ⠀ I wonder why I even set reminders for today and not tomorrow...⠀ ⠀ The first thing I did this morning was head to the gym for a bootcamp class. ⠀ ⠀ It's my sanctuary and space to burn off the excess energy, the pent up adrenaline that I hadn't realised was there, diffusing the first touches of anxiety waiting in the wings.⠀ ⠀ It felt good.⠀ ⠀ I hang out with my mum for a lovely lunch and then drop her off at the train station. Then when the quiet of the afternoon kicks in I am alone with my thoughts.⠀ ⠀ I had two invitations to events this evening. I didn't go to either. Part of me feels bad that 'I didn't make the effort'. Yet I know I need some quiet space to decompress and recalibrate.⠀ ⠀ The familiar noise in my head, like an old friend to whom you stifle a slightly weary smile. ⠀ ⠀ We've been here before. Yet it's a comfort zone that isn't necessarily welcome.⠀ ⠀ All the feels.⠀ ⠀ Then a Whatsapp voice note from a friend, with a request for some help stops me in my tracks and a wonderful long and unexpected conversation lifts me right up. ⠀ ⠀ I am reminded I am useful, I have a contribution to make, a story to share, a purpose to pursue.⠀ ⠀ A welcome pause. A reconnection.⠀ ⠀ (cont. in comments)
I wrote these words back in 2014 and they still hold as much power for me today. #Repost @balancegarden ・・・ ⠀ As part of Mental Health Awareness Week, @johodson has an ode to self-love that we could all benefit from reading:⠀ ⠀ Self Love⠀ ⠀ you can’t hate yourself happy⠀ you can’t criticise yourself thin⠀ you can’t belittle yourself beautiful⠀ real change starts deep within⠀ ⠀ you can’t despise yourself contented⠀ you can’t shame yourself kind⠀ you can’t neglect yourself to flourish⠀ real love is yours to find⠀ ⠀ you can’t spite yourself successful⠀ you can’t loathe yourself with pride⠀ you can’t blame yourself thankful⠀ self love starts deep inside⠀ .⠀ .⠀ .⠀ .⠀ .⠀ #findbalancebehappy #wearetheoneinthree #bebodykind #mentalhealthawarenessweek #mhaw #bodyimage #selflove #selftalk #mindset #bekind ⠀ ⠀
Seriously, what if it was? Maybe it is? What shifts for you when you contemplate that truth even for just a moment... For me everything feels lighter. A weight lifts off my shoulders. A knowledge that life happens for me and not to me. It’s a reminder to trust the process. A reminder that the only thing in the way of our dreams... is ourselves. Birthdays are a time for reflection. It’s what I love about birthdays and Christmas. A beautiful anchor point in the year. Possibility opens up and time feels deliciously expansive. I’m spending the next few days in Spain, away from my laptop, with my friends and my reflections. What would you do differently if you knew everything in life was up for grabs?
Birthday day two... a chilled out day after the excitement of the firewalk yesterday! I’m sitting in the conservatory with a simple breakfast bowl (chia, yoghurt and fruit) to make room for an epic roast dinner later! The sun is shining and making rainbows on the floor around my feet. I’m loving my henna in all its glory, and I chose to wear bright colours to celebrate the sunshine and happiness. Red lipstick too! By my side is a book borrowed from a friend, ready for an hours reading before my dad arrives to take me out. So much of my personal growth is down to the simple yet profound fact of ‘awareness’. Without awareness we can’t create choice. Choice to grow or stay the same. To follow the well worn path or spot the path less trodden. As I sit and reflect on my 36 years I realised I love the age I am right now. I am the healthiest I have ever been in body, mind and spirit collectively and I feel curiously excited about what the next year may have in store. Because I get to choose the person I become in every moment of every day (and so do you!) There are of course some things I wish were different, but I am trusting the process that was is meant to be will be. I know there is so much more waiting in the wings 💛
My birthday gift from the wonderful @humnamustafa A women who only came into my world a few months ago, but who’s presence and who’s way of being touched be deeply from the moment we met, even though at the time I didn’t know why. I’ve always been intrigued by henna body art but knew little about it. As a girl I was captivated by the ‘pretty patterns’ and for years I’ve wanted to receive it but it simply never felt ‘right’, until a few weeks ago when I approached Humna and expressed my desire. This experience was such a gift, a journey, a permission to re-connect with parts of myself that I have repressed. A space to be acknowledged, to be heard and held and of course adorned. The journey continues as the henna matures over the next couple of days, then evolves and fades over the following week, allowing space for deeper reflection, time to expand and explore. Thank you Humna for sharing the gift of your art and your soul with me. So much more than ‘pretty patterns’. 💛

©Including Cake. All food photography, recipes and text by Jo Hodson (unless otherwise credited). Other images typically sourced from Pexels.com. All rights reserved. You're welcome to share or repost content and images only where full credit and link back is given. Content is not medically endorsed. Read the Privacy & Cookie Policy.

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