Posts in life experiences
Happiness vs Satisfaction

I have often talked about a balance. A balance between being ‘happy’ and ‘satisfied’.

For me happiness is the day to day moments in life, our positive responses to the world around us. Satisfaction on the other hand is created deep inside, it is unique and personal, it is a knowledge and understanding within ourselves that we are on the right path, doing things that look set to make us happy in the long term. It is the overall sense of ease with ourselves. Satisfaction in the day to day does not always make us ‘happy’, its component parts are often tough and we question ourselves why we do it- but we still do, in the knowledge that it is for the greater good.

When our goals seem tough it is very easy to focus on the here and now- tick the ‘happiness’ box and push ‘satisfaction’ to the back of our minds. If we have enough ‘happiness’ in our lives we can sometimes do a very good job of avoiding dealing with our satisfaction for weeks, months or even years.

But, I strongly believe we cannot avoid it forever, the longer the bigger issues and the deep down unanswered questions are left unresolved the harder it becomes and the harder we have to work at maintaining ‘happiness’ to cover those up.

I am working hard at satisfaction, working hard to change the course of my life to become the person I want to be. The person I know that I am capable of being instead of the person society expects- one who is settled and ‘comfortable’ with her lot.

By no means do I lack gratitude; I am constantly grateful for the small things in life- and the fact that I have been given this opportunity at life at all. So by the same token I want to really ‘live my life’ and for me that means pushing boundaries to find out who I really am and only through that will I be able to fulfil the potential I have within me.

The silent natural world around us is full of wonder and magnificence, far greater than we could ever really conceive. Capturing these moments to reflect back on in times of quiet, times when change is all around and doubts creep into my mind is all the more important to me. It provides me with a sense of perspective, reminds me that my fears are not really fears at all and enables me to open my mind to the possibilities this world has to offer us all.

I want to share some of these captured moments, moments created on my doorstep, the moments in life that have made me smile and grow within.


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Struggling With Life

Ok, I’ll be honest… these last few days have been hard.  Everything is ‘up in the air’ and change is all around me right now.

Why?

The ‘Boy’ who has played a major guiding role in opening my eyes and redirecting my life over this past year, is no longer my boy. It was a mutual decision to call it a day. 

Food was always such a big part of our life together and I gained so much happiness in creating recipes for us to try and then seeing the joy on his face when I’d succeeded. For these last few days food has been the last thing on my mind. In actual fact, even if I’d wanted to get stuck into something I haven’t been able to since all my baking ingredients have only just moved out with me and are yet to be unpacked. The previous post on ‘peanut soup’ was a recently written back-up post that I kept in reserve for an emergency situation (this counts as an emergency-right?) 

It all just feels a little surreal at the moment, I guess my ‘reason’ for doing what I do suddenly seems somewhat meaningless when you’re not ‘in it together’. In the beginning the Boy gave me a reason for it all, the meals we shared together the naughty but healthy snacks I could make him, to nurture and look after him. He was a willing participant and allowed my happiness and skills to grow. That meaning is now gone.  My curiosity is still there, but I feel resentment and discord… why try and make the effort when there is no one else to really appreciate the outcomes? It just feels empty.

Oh poor me…sob sob sob!  NO!  

On a more serious note I know it will all be fine, this is far from a ‘sob story’ and I am not one to to dwell and mope for long. I am only writing about this to give you a greater understanding as to why there might be a few changes around here as I find my way on my own… or should I say on my own terms… it’s all down to me now!

So I guess I just need to suck it up and get a grip!!

I know it will settle in time and that I’ll have my ups and down just like the everyone else, I also know that I’ll find a new way to re-create this meaning in my life and for the people around me, and hopefully find more people like me and maybe enlighten a few of those closer to home. Most importantly I know full well that in order to have healthy treats I’ll have to make them myself… a life without treats… no thank you!!

 So, you see I can’t just stop even if I wanted to!!  Just watch this space…..

 

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