Finding the balance in letting go

Over the last few months (maybe even few years) I have felt increasingly pushed and pulled between wanting to get rid of 'everything' and live a very minimalist life, but at the same time wanting to hold on to all the 'creations' and memories of my childhood and my school years, holding onto all my art and craft materials, all the bags and boxes of recipe ingredients and food photography equipment lining my kitchen shelves, and of course all my books!

I find huge comfort and creativity in these things, but in equal measure, I find it all overwhelming and suffocating...

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Knowing there are stacks and boxes in the loft and under my bed needing sorting through 'at some point' creates a low level of anxiety that never quite leaves me, a subtle heaviness that holds me back. I have observed this for some time.

I want to travel and live a more transient nomadic life, not for ever but for a while, and all these 'things' are stopping me. I am letting them stop me. Why is that?

I feel incredibly emotional at the thought of just letting it all go, but at the same time a huge sense of liberation. Tears prick my eyes as I write this (unexpectedly)

Maybe that's called starting over?

Do I need to start over?

I recall almost ten years ago now, one weekend totally out of the blue my ex-boyfriend at the time stripped his life almost completely bare to prove to himself he could do it. To prove to himself what was essential. To get curious about what made him truly happy.

He packed everything he owned into boxes in the garage and challenged himself to live from the contents of a single holdall for a week, which became two weeks then one month. He slept on a roll up camping mat on the floor net to the bed for that time period also.

Once the month was done, he slowly added things carefully and consciously back into his life and got rid of the rest, the majority.

I remember thinking he was absolutely crazy at the time. But now I look back and smile with a shift in perspective, a new level of understanding. Extreme maybe, but only now do I begin to understand.

I wonder how to find the balance in letting go. How do I begin to negotiate this task?

Marie Kondo would ask "does it bring me joy?" Yet, so often I find it is not that clear cut. Many of these things do indeed bring me great joy, I'm just not sure that is the question I need to ask…

I have always formed strong attachments to things and struggle to let go often long after they have served me... relationships, clothes, habits... it drains my energy and holds me in the past. On the flip side, memories can be so beautiful, but even in their beauty can hold you back and stop you looking forwards.

I am a creator and my whole life revolves around creativity and using my mind, my hands and all of my senses to interact with and reinterpret the world around me.

The thought of not having access to the diverse physical expression of my art and creativity, not having all my crafting resources to hand to dip into at any given moment quite frankly terrifies me, it pushes me to the very edge of my comfort zone. I'm scared that I will be lost in my head forever with no way to physically create. Even as I write that I know that this is not true.

But maybe this is what I most need to embrace and explore.

Reinterpreting my creative expression through the eyes of a living a minimalist life.

I am curious as to where that might lead...


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The moment I realised I am a 'heptathlete'

I had something of a game-changing realisation today.

I have always been one of those people that has multiple passions and multiple strands to my bow. I was cool with that and fully embraced my creativity (or so I thought)

But today I realised that very same understanding has been holding me back in my business- massively!

I realised I held the story (ingrained from school days, books and societies conditioning) that in order to be a 'master' at your craft you had to focus all in on one discipline.

You have a choice in life - either be good at lots of things, or be a master at the 'one' thing.

By default I firmly held onto the subliminal belief I was a 'good' coach, a 'good' designer, a 'good' writer, a 'good recipe developer...

So when it came to opportunities to put myself in font of potential clients, to chime in on threads in facebook groups, to network and engage with people... I so often held back, incredibly frustrated at myself for doing so, without seeing what was playing out beneath the surface.

I inadvertently told myself that these clients would be better served by someone who was a 'great' designer, or a 'great' coach - aka someone who I perceived focussed fully on that 'one' skill and therefore must better than me.

Now I am calling BULLSHIT on that story!

For the first time truly seeing it for what it is.

I am also reminded of how all these strands and multiple disciplines play out to offer a richness and depth that otherwise would not be. My coaching work infuses my design work, my mindset and creativity is a powerful driving force behind my approach to a plant-based diet. My love of food and recipe creation offers a an incredible dimension to my retreats and workshops.

It’s not always about homing in on and being a master of the ‘one thing’…

It’s also about recognising and bringing to life the interplay between the various strands and the strengths they offer each other… as well as acknowledging that just because I have multiple passions and I spread my focus across them all, it DOES NOT mean that I dilute my talents or my skills. If anything, I have now come to realise that the opposite can indeed be true.

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I was speaking with my coach at the time, and just before this realisation hit me and in order to try and prove my point I gave this analogy;

"It's like the example of an olympic athlete, they are world champions in their specific discipline, channeling their skills and practice solely on that narrow focus to be the best in the world".

There was a short pause and then she said to me;

"So, what about the heptathletes?"

So today, for the first time I call bullshit on my lifelong story of never being more than 'good'.

I am embracing my inner heptathlete. 

Now… it’s your turn. Do you have multiple passions and strands to your business or even your hobbies and if so are you holding yourself back? Is it time for you to embrace you inner heptathlete and allow yourself to shift from ‘good’ to ‘great’?


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30 things I love about being alone...

Yesterday I was having a bad day.

It was just one of those days when everything got on top of me for various reasons and I felt out of my depth and overwhelmed.

I shared a post in a private Facebook group run by my friend and fellow coach Julie New, most of which I have decided to now share below because I know I am not alone in feeling this way. I also know that when we share openly from the heart we invite others into that space to share their world.


“This feels vulnerable and even stupid to admit because I'm 35, I'm a nice person, I do have friends and I'm in the 'prime' of my life (whatever that is anyway!) but somehow I've ended up feeling lonely.

So incredibly fucking lonely.

I think I have been for some long time but it had been masked until very recently so I was unaware of it's extent. Now reality has kicked in and I need to take the reins and do something about it. I guess that's why I am sharing this openly, because i'm not going to be the victim of my own life!

Five days ago I took on an 8-month housesit at my friends parents place whilst they are off travelling. It is the first time I have ever lived on my own- previously I have lived with housemates at uni, or with partners or parents. I have always had some form of 'company' or some level of 'background noise'.

Reality kicked in really quickly.

I work for myself and can often spend days mostly on my own. I'm not in a relationship. I have wonderful friends but this is not about a lack of people I can call upon. Sometimes a sense of isolation hits out of the blue.

I am an introvert. I hate small talk.

I crave deep conversations and a meaningful hug.

I don't want to be fixed (I am not broken), but sometimes I just want to be heard.

Sometimes (like today) the only people time I have is going to a class at the gym. It feels so good when I am there to adsorb the energy of group of other people. But in reality I might only share a 'hi' and a smile with the ladies next to me, then a 'thanks' to the instructor as I leave.

I do enjoy my own company. It fills me up and fuels my creativity BUT I have too much of it at the moment.

I also realise that I have been spending a lot of time working on my own personal projects, working behind a computer screen - writing my book and re-launching my website - I notice those activities in themselves lack an immediacy of connection and contribution, so they perpetuate the isolation. Small yet very significant things for me to notice.

I feel vulnerable in admitting this because as someone who considers themselves pretty self-aware, a coach for goodness sake... how did I not see this coming? How can I possibly be lonely, it seems almost selfish in this world full of opportunity to even admit it out loud.”


Of the back of this post there were such wonderful words and many ‘me toos’ shared on the thread in the group. In articulating my emotions into words, I gave myself the pace to realise where in my life I had been lacking and not that I had an issue with ‘being alone’ but instead it was an issue with not connecting and contributing enough to people and causes beyond myself. This gave me a fresh perspective and a choice to make some changes.

I am also still fairly fresh out of a relationship that ended late last year. I found it very tough emotionally and in the soft quiet moments of the day, or the last thing at night, I sometimes do still struggle.

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So I decided to write a list.

As it happens a list of 30 things I love about being alone. Because to be quite honest, I do really enjoy my own company and here’s some of the reasons why…

  1. I can spread out diagonally across the double bed.

  2. I don’t have to work around anyone else’s routines.

  3. I can travel and go on trips spontaneously without warning.

  4. I can go to bed and get up whenever I want without the worry of waking anybody up or being woken up.

  5. I can’t sleep at night I can just put the light on and read a book.

  6. I can make my own decisions without having to run them past anyone else first.

  7. If I want to eat chocolate for breakfast there is no one to judge me.

  8. I can spend time with whoever I want to spend time with without feeling I should be somewhere else.

  9. No obligations to go to social gatherings I don’t want to go to.

  10. Fewer obligations altogether.

  11. Family dynamics are much more straightforward.

  12. The food shop lasts longer.

  13. Less laundry to do.

  14. If the toilet doesn’t flush ‘it’ away properly, I don’t need to hang around waiting for the tank to fill so I can flush it again.

  15. No misunderstandings about whether it is my turn to do something or not. 

  16. No one will ‘accidentally’ eat the special treat I bought to enjoy after dinner.

  17. I can enjoy the silence.

  18. I can be as creative as I want to be without holding back… even if at times it may appear as though I’m possessed by the devil when an idea first lands in my head.

  19. I can play the same song on repeat for two hours and no one will complain.

  20. I can eat meals at random times without needing to coordinate with anyone else.

  21. The only mess I need to clear up after is my own.

  22. There is no ironing that needs to be done, and no expectation to do it.

  23. The toilet seat will never be left up.

  24. There is no great debate about whether the ketchup goes in the fridge or the cupboard.

  25. I don’t have to pretend to enjoy TV or watch Netflix, in fact the TV never gets switched on.

  26. I can stay out as late as I want without having to check in with anyone.

  27. I can go to the gym in the evening without feeling like I should be spending it with someone else.

  28. If I’m in the middle of a big creative crafting session, I don’t need to clear it all away when I finish, I can just leave everything right where it is to come back to another time.

  29. I can leave a pile of washing up in the sink until the next morning and no one will care. Ditto with a full dishwasher.

  30. I can have a long leisurely bath without anyone knocking on the door needing to use or get something out of the bathroom when i’ve only just got in.


What about you, have you ever struggled with feelings of loneliness?

Can you feel the difference between 'loneliness’ and ‘being alone’ - for me one is taking ownership (being alone) and one is playing the victim (feeling lonely). I always have the choice to change my mindset from playing the victim to taking ownership on my situation, remembering that is empowering.

I also find that sharing our thoughts out loud i a safe space, not matter how silly or unfounded they may feel really helps with shifting perspective. This is exactly why I created the I AM group. You are invited to join me there.

A good place to start is appreciation. I love to hear from you… what do you love most about being being alone?


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10 reasons I'm NOT the coach for you...

When I first mention I'm a coach, it's understandable that people then ask me what kind of coach I am. For a long time I shied away from this question (l talk more about that here) as my 'title' seemed to change every other week!

But the beauty in this question is it gives me an opportunity to connect at a deeper level, to share what coaching means to me, what kind of coach I am and how I can support you on your journey.

It gives me an opportunity to lay down some clear foundations, because I hold my hands up... I'm not the right coach for everyone.

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10 reasons I'm NOT the coach for you...

  1. I'm not going to tell you what to do, I'm not going to advise you on the best course of action. However I may share my experiences with you and my observations on what you say which could translate into actions should you choose to take them. But I'm never going to tell you what to do.

  2. I have duvet days. I have days where I feel overwhelmed, anxious and not good enough. I also have epic days when I feel like I could literally take on anything that is thrown at me. I'll always show up for you 100% as the professional that I am, but I am not going to hide my 'human-ness' from you either.

  3. There is no quick fix with how I work with my clients. No structured SMART goal system to work to. We are in it for the long haul. I coach what shows up in the moment. We go deep, we strip back the layers, we get super vulnerable, there will probably be some tears (sometimes they could even be mine!) Working with me involves embracing the messy in order to get to the magical. If you're not down with 'messy', then I'm probably not the coach for you.

  4. I'll call you out and keep you accountable with your actions. I know excuses when I hear them and I'll pull you up on them. I am not here to be your friend. I will absolutely stand in your greatness and hold space for you potential in moments when you doubt yourself but I will not believe in your dream more than you do.

  5. I often talk about spiritual stuff. Not light and fluffy, not rainbows and sparkles but yes there will be spiritual vibes in the language, tools and techniques I bring to the table. If that's not your bag then I am probably not the coach for you.

  6. At some point I will probably disappoint you. You will probably disappoint me too. Let’s put that right there on the table. It is impossible to control others expectations of us regardless of how pure the intention is. The beauty is in the conversation in acknowledging this, in what comes next. We won't ignore the elephant in the room.

  7. I am a passionate creative and I infuse this into all areas of my life. We live in a multi-sensory world and I bring this powerful dynamic into all of my work. This may mean getting your hands dirty, it may mean getting out in nature, it may mean movement or yoga, or journalling or drawing or being a bit silly. This is not just ‘talking therapy’, this is a space where we will engage the body and mind at a multi-sensory level.

  8. I don't generally wear smart suits or blouses, I rarely wear make up and that's unlikely to change. Most of the time I'm rocking leggings and a sports bra. I'll do me and you do you. Embrace it.

  9. Most of the time I work with clients via audio not video call. I can listen more deeply this way. I can think more clearly this way. I can move my body if I need to. I can be outside in nature if that feels right for me in that moment. I encourage you to explore the same. If you prefer to always speak face to face, then I’m probably not the coach for you.

  10. At some point I will probably try to feed you! I'm a passionate plant-based foodie and it's been a huge part of my own evolution and my no.1 10/10 kinda client would be someone who aligns with these values or is as least curious to explore plant-based nutrition and how this can support the connection with a deeper sense of self. But hey, it's by no means a deal breaker... as long as you enjoy my homemade 'bliss balls' ;-)

I'm not the right coach for everyone.

We might just not be a fit and that's ok. That's actually more than ok, because the beauty is that when we give up on pleasing everyone, we give ourselves permission to find those folks who really make us come alive and who just ‘get' us.

… and that's the magic of a powerful coaching relationship.

If you are still curious and want to have a conversation… hit the button below.

I look forward to connecting you!


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20 lessons I learned in 2018 (and what this means for 2019)

As a follow on from my End Of Year Review and as part of my overall end of year reflections I began concocting a ‘lessons I learned’ post after feeling inspired by reading similar posts by others. It ended up as a list of 20 which felt like the right place to stop.

I love the simple clarity of some of these lessons contrasted with the depth and complexity of others - a complexity that goes so much deeper than the words on the page.

Many of these lessons I am already well on the road to putting into action, others will take a little longer as the acknowledgement and the implications land within my soul.

This list is not conclusive but all felt significant for me and I feel offers something of a beautiful indicator as to where my life has journeyed over the last 12 months and areas of focus and intention for the next 12 ongoing.

I’d love to hear from you… what are your top lessons of 2018 …and where are you headed for 2019?

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20 lessons I learned in 2018

  1. ‘Home’ is an internal place not an external one.

  2. The importance of creating clear boundaries and expectations in relationships -both personal and business.

  3. Love will find me when I’m ready and willing to ask for it and let it in.

  4. Travel does not have to be expensive, complicated or a luxury.

  5. I have a desire to live a location independent lifestyle.

  6. I do want kids after all (this one is huge for me)

  7. How much of my precious energy I drain through investing too much in people or situations that aren't in alignment with me.

  8. Difficult conversations will never get easier if expectations and boundaries are not first created, and even then they still require courage to be had.

  9. Stories are powerful - both in terms of how we connect as humans and the (often negative) stories we tell ourselves- rewrite that script!

  10. A calling to take the next step on my writing journey and publish a book.

  11. I can choose to be the 'victim' or the 'owner' of literally any situation I find myself in.

  12. Having continuously rebelled against the idea of ‘structure’ and ‘planning’ since having the freedom of working for myself, I realise I absolutely need them in order to succeed. (note: I ordered a planner for next year and I will commit to using it!)

  13. I currently hold a very negative ‘money story’ which is holding me back from financial abundance (massive reality check!)

  14. What I perceive and beat myself up as being as my big old shame stories no one else even notices or cares about, they’ve got their own stuff to deal with.

  15. Making 'bliss balls' are my no. 1 procrastination distraction tactic!

  16. It's totally ok to be picky, and actually the more specific you are about your desires the more you give ‘the universe’ to work with to co-create with you.

  17. If I'm not mindful, my default mode is to fall into being a 'rescuer' and that does not serve either me or them.

  18. My new favourite green smoothie recipe is: 1 banana, 2 packed cups of spinach and the juice of 1 lime (try it!)

  19. To get to experience the amazingness of life we also have to be willing to embrace the messy bits. We cannot ‘numb’ selectively and there is beauty in the pain.

  20. The pleasure gained from sipping tea from a very big mug cannot be underestimated!

So what does this look like for the months ahead?

Intuitively, I’m feeling that 2019 looks set to embody a more transient lifestyle, an exploration of love (of myself and others), of creating a ‘structure’ that works for me and consciously creating expectations and agreements.

I am curious to see how this sense of awareness evolves!


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2018 end of year review

My end of year review is an ‘emotional space creator’, a calling in what has come and gone, what I have created and what I have left behind, what has fired me up and broken me down what has shifted and evolved with me.

I first captured it's essence on a small piece of paper then burned it in the solstice fire to make make way for 2019.

This blog was originally captured as an audio note. If you would like to listen to the full, unfiltered version you can do so below (it’s 20 minutes long). It embodies the energy of the moment, and of the original essence of my reflection. That said, this written post itself contains minimal editing from the original.


My end of year review comes form an emotional place. Not a place of fact and figures as I have seen in so many other entrepreneurs reviews. This is the place that feels most true for me right now. The facts and figures whilst important and rewire my acknowledgement, don't hold most meaning for me in tis moment.

There were two big driving forces that were most meaningful for me this year, both were in my personal life but that created powerful ripples in all areas of my life and business.

My relationship.

My house move.

First, I met my love in January after seven years of being on my own. Last New Year I put the message that I was open and ready for love out in the universe and later in January itself I met him.

It was an intensely beautiful relationship at first but slowly the cracks began to show. I realised then that I hadn't created strong boundaries and I hadn't called in what was truly important to me deep down. I wasn't living in full alignment with who I needed to be. Whilst there was a still a lot of deep love there on both sides, there were insurmountable cracks that were exacerbated by dramas unfolding in his world and frustrations that I felt were being repressed and not addressed.

I look back and smile now as I understand relationships are always our mirror.

What was I not addressing?

So from some time September though to November we took a careful and steady decision to create some physical space which ultimately have the conversation that would end it all.

It was incredibly painful at times, as I struggled to let go of the desire for him being 'the one'. Yet, it has taught me a lot about what it is I truly need in a relationship, not just what I think I want, and also where I am willing to compromise and where I am not.

Another big driving force this year for me has been my house move.

I have lived in the same house, on and off over the last 28 years (aside from university and short stints with partners) but I had always gravitated back to the family home. It was my rock. On some levels it served me powerfully, but on other levels it really held me back and I knew it. But I felt caught in the spiral. It was a comfort zone that I struggled to break away from.

The decision was made for me. In late September the house was sold. The family home, the place that I had called home for almost 28 years no matter where I was in the world, no longer existed.

That created all kinds of shifts within me energetically. It also coincided with the difficult conversations within my relationship. It was the beginning of the end at that point. A very powerful time.

These things have challenged me in so many ways, they pushed me into discomfort when I have needed to gown but haven't felt ready. In amongst this turbulence, I noticed so much space open up with in me. Space for new ideas to be born. .

So what else has this year brought to light...

It has shown a powerful evolution in my coaching business, it has shown me moving away from nutrition into the realms of vulnerability and authenticity at a level of depth and clarity I hadn't previously explored.

It has seen me 'create' more... more crafts, products, workshops, services. Creation is incredibly important to me, BUT I also notice that sometimes when I create it can be an act of procrastination from not taking action on following through of those creations.

It is a comfort zone to create, but to follow through is a whole different ball game and that is the part I have often neglected and overlooked. I have all too easily jumped ship to another 'shiny idea'. I have launched ideas into the world but then allowed them to dissolve a fizzle out without continually pulling in energy to lift them off the grown in the way they deserve to be. That is an acknowledgement on my part, an acknowledgement that needs to change next year.

I launched my bevisible.me website, as a hybrid of design work and coaching. This is something I really feel will springboard next year... and I am really enjoying the combination of design and coaching.

Drawing out stories, storytelling is an incredibly powerfully space that I want to explore much more deeply next year. We all have incredible powerful stories within us, stories that can draw our people into our world. If we can find away to express who we really are though our stories, through out life and our words... it is magic.

This is where I feel as though I am going more and more. Using my voice to help people share their voice.

That is the work that is calling me.

I believe that this understanding has needed the space of my relationship coming and going and the turbulence of energy from my house move to really bring this to the forefront of my life.

This year I also created the I AM group. A private facebook group to show up is the fullness of who we are.

I found myself using the phrase I AM to explore my own territory, to explore the expansiveness of who I was, who I was leaving behind and who I was becoming, with a sense of curiosity and without judgement. It is so easy to judge ourselves and hold expectation, but when I can let that fall away and sit with the pure curiosity of 'who I am', life shifts in exciting new ways.

I also created the I AM postcards just before Christmas, as a way to explore intention setting for the coming year, as a way if honouring how we really are.

Back in October I had a wonderful conversation with a fellow coach. I shared my frustrations of where I was holding myself back, where I was struggling to give myself permission to step into the life that was waiting fo me.

He asked me a simple question: "what would life look like for you you if you gave yourself permission?"

My immediate unfiltered answer was; "I would get to experience ALL of me."

Even as I said those words I could feel the power within then. In that moment I realised that to become the best version of ourselves we need to be willing to experience ALL of ourselves, that includes the messy bits and it includes the tough conversation, it includes the bits we want to repress and deny. It's only through being willing to be with these parts of ourselves that we get to experience outsides in all of our truly glory.

So then he reflected back that maybe instead of my signature line "I help people become the best version of themselves", maybe instead I rewrite this to become "I help people experience all of themselves'. It immediately felt aligned. I had been able to connect the dots that that been there all along.

It was the precursor to creating the I AM group. It was the precursor to my realisation that I a story teller, but more than that I create space for other people to tell their stories and truly own them. That's what I want to do more and more of next year.

As I sit here now, I reflect on what else I need to acknowledge this year, what has had less obvious impact on me but is important to acknowledge nonetheless.

One key things is my Wholeplus food business. I joined forces at the very beginning of this with a local gym owner who also has a commercial kitchen. The relationship going forwards with the business has an incredible amount of potential. But progress has been very slow, with nothing really moving forwards and other priorities taking over time and time again.

At times I found this incredibly frustrating, but now I see that maybe that's exactly what needed to be. Maybe the energy there had to slow down and be put on hold so I had the energy to inject into me, my growth, the I AM movement, the evolution of my design work, and also my relationship- because whilst my relationship ultimately broke down it was at first an incredible rich and nourishing part of my life with many lessons to be learned.

Next year is a time for growing into the message that has become clear this year.

Now that my message has become clear, my food business also has some space to grow.

I big realisation this year is the I want to become more transient and not fixed to any single location. I have slowly shifted my work, and ultimately my relationship to allow for that transition.

I tested this idea of 'live-work-travel' at the end of this year in Salobrena, Spain and it was a magical experience.

As I let go of the old and allow things to transform into how they can best serve me, I look ahead to committing to myself. Not just creating but committing those creations into action. I also look to building a community because I know deep down this is not just about me. Our stories and our ownership of our lives is a community effort, coming together to express, to share, to acknowledge, to voice our journeys in the presence of others in a safe intimate space is powerful.

So I am holding space for that community. I am committing to my own journey, I am continuing to weave my web as a storyteller, designer and coach, These are the threads that I am pulling together out of everything that has come over the last 12 months and that I am weaving into the tapestry of 2019.

So this is my end of year review. Much longer than I anticipated when I began my reflection process.

Now, I reflect back to you...

What has the year held for you?

What is the essence of what this year was about?

What are the truths that stirred our soul and create the biggest shifts?

What were the biggest teaching points?

what has 2018 meant for you overall?

Once you have a sense of all of these things, how will you bring all of that together as an intention for 2019? If you were to get super clear on that feeling, what does that look life when articulated into words. What is your intention for the year ahead and how will you honour that transition?

Wishing you a wonderful 2019.

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The dreaded question... ‘So what do you do?’

For so many years I struggled with the abundance of ideas and options that flooded my mind...

Which ones should I follow? 

If I honour one does it meaning dropping the others? 

How will I tell people about what I do?

Ahhh, now I need another business card...

Which email address should I send this from?

I’m confused about who I am so I’m pretty sure other people are...

It resulted in confusion and overwhelm and feeling like I was scattering my focus so thinly and not really achieving anything at all. My confidence suffered and I cringed when asked the dreaded question: ‘So what do you do?’

Very recently all that changed when the missing piece of the puzzle fell into place.

An awareness and simplicity came into view and joined up all the dots that had been there all along. The common thread that tied everything together.

I am a coach

I am a writer

I am a designer

I am a firewalking instructor

I own a health food business

BUT above all of this...

“I help connect people to the best version of themselves”

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If you are a multi-passionate person feeling stuck and scattered by ideas and options you want to pursue. You don’t need to ‘pick one’ and drop everything else to achieve success.

Rise up and look at the bigger picture. Join the dots that have been there all along.... what is your core desire that connects the seemingly unconnected?

Focus on that place, serve from that place.

It’s your gateway for your clients to connect with ALL that you are, so that they can become ALL they they can be.


I call this the ‘The golden thread’

A fundamental core belief or set of values, that weaves through the essence of our lives and makes life most meaningful for us. 

It could also be called our mission statement. 

To articulate it in words gives it greater clarity and power. It brings the mission to life, beyond a ‘feeling in our heart’. It allows others to connect to that feeling too. It allows us to feel most connected to our purpose. 

Connection is key. If we can’t articulate it, we don’t have a voice. If we are not able able to put words to those feelings keeps us small, holds us back. We lack direction in life without that clarity.

This Thursday 4th October @ 8pm UK…

I am hosting a FREE WEBINAR to dive deeper into the ‘Golden Thread’, to rid the anxiety and overwhelm around the dreaded question… ‘so, what do you do?’

I would absolutely love you to join me there!

This is for you if you are struggling as a wellness solopreneur with multiple passions. Join me on October 4th @ 8pm UK time, where you will…

>>> Understand why you don’t need to ‘pick one thing’ and drop everything else you are passionate about to achieve success.

>>> Discover how knowing your deepest core values can play the biggest role in connecting with clients.

>>> Learn how to make yourself visible within the 'noise' of the wellness industry AND do it in a way that feels really authentic.

I'll be guiding you through a journey of discovery with a complimentary workbook, so you can shake things up and get started immediately!

P.s For more information on my deep dive ‘visibility package’ for wellness business owners kicking off in a couple of week time >>> CLICK HERE

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Self growth : Why we need to get ready for the meltdown!

If you have kids, or young family members, you may well be aware of the ‘caterpillar kits’ that have been doing the rounds during summer time year over the last few years.

A few weeks ago, at my mum’s house, I found myself sat in front of a tiny tub containing baby caterpillars, no more than a few millimetres in size, wriggling around eating so much food as they prepared for their transformation.

As I sat there it occurred to me the incredible magic that is involved, the mind-blowing transformation that takes place in order for them to become a beautiful butterfly.

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There are so many 'inspirational' quotes bounced around on the internet about this transformation, but to be honest, they had always just seemed like words to me: 

"What if the change you're avoiding is the one that gives you wings?"

"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly"

"Your time as a caterpillar has expired, your wings are ready"

I'd never really thought about it to the extent I did as I sat there that morning, staring through the sides of the little plastic tub.

What made me laugh as I thought about it some more, is that when the caterpillar wraps itself up in it's chrysalis, attaches itself to a solid surface and hangs there for a couple of weeks before emerging as a butterfly... what is actually happening on the inside!

It practically liquefies, by releasing enzymes to digest its own body. The caterpillars 'dissolve' before rebuilding themselves into a beautiful butterfly!

It felt like a powerful metaphor to me; that in order to undergo this incredible transformation, first we have to have a 'meltdown'.

How true is this in life, when we are going through our own transformation. When doing the work on the inside first, it is almost inevitable that we are going to have a meltdown somewhere along that process.

In that moment I realised it's about embracing this process because that is where the biggest gifts lie. It's the shift that happens during the meltdown where we become stronger and more beautiful as a result.

It's the allowing of that that state of letting go of who we once were, even it might feel like the worst thing in the world at the time, but is actually necessary in order for us to become the person that we have the potential to be.

What's more important as I thought about it again a few days later, as I looked across at these now tiny rugged suspended chrysalis forms, is that there is this outer protection against the world.

The chrysalis shell is the only thing that allows the caterpillar to do the ‘inner work’; the only thing that allows the transformation to take place.  There is no way they could have their 'meltdown' without that protective barrier in place.

I think we all need to create a ‘chrysalis’ in our own lives.

If we are to accept that at some point along the process of our personal growth we are going to have a meltdown, then we need to be better preparing ourselves for that protective container. Having the people, the resources and the tools in place that allow us to fully embrace that.

It's not pretty, it's actually pretty messy in there. But if we haven't got the resources in places to best manage that state whilst we are in it, we are likely to struggle.

Ultimately, I think there are two key learning points to this caterpillar-butterfly process, way beyond the fluffy inspirational quotes...

One is in accepting that it is likely we are going to have a 'meltdown' as we do the inner work to become our biggest, brightest, best self. In order to truly fly in this world we are going to first have a meltdown.

Secondly, in knowing this, it is about putting the people and the resources in place to support that transition and help it run it’s course as smoothly as possible.

It's not going to be pretty, but with awareness and support we can make it through the process and out the other side to emerge in full glory.

So, let’s get ready for the meltdown!


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'The Dance Of My Life {re-writing my story}

I spent a wonderful weekend at RAW FEST 2018 during which I gave two talks - one on the connection between a plant-based diet and out innate creativity (a topic I am so passionate about and is the focus on my forthcoming book) and secondly on 'sugar-free satisfaction' which is actually where this blog started off back in 2011!

It was a wonderful uplifting festival filled with woodland walks, vegan food, yoga, meditation, inspiring talks, sound baths, spiritual music, campfires and chanting... made all the more special as I was able to share the experience with my boyfriend.

On the last day it rained all day and I made a very fetching 'bin bag ball gown' to keep myself dry which worked a treat ;-)

bin bag.jpg

For me one of the main highlights and moments of growth, was the creative writing workshop with HART FLOE POET set in a circle on the woodland floor.

In the lead up to this piece, Hart Floe asked us to visualise our perfect life, thinking ahead to a time when we had achieved what we had set out to – what would that life look like? What would we be thinking, feeling, touching, tasting, hearing... Initially, as I began to write tears welled up in my eyes.

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I could only picture myself alone, that has always been the way in these kinds of exercises when I visualise my future.

But I don’t want to be alone, and it overwhelmed me in that moment. I put my pen down and closed my eyes with the intention to quietly meditate on my breathe for the next few minutes until the exercise was over.

My boyfriend sitting by myself side noticed my tears. I felt silly in admitting to him the truth but he reminded me this was my chance to rewrite that story. I knew he was right. Hesitantly, I picked up my pen and with just a minute or so left of the exercise this is what poured onto the page. It felt so good.

I wonder, where in your life might you benefit from rewriting the story that plays out time and time again in your mind?


The Dance Of My Life...

There is a warmth in my heart and a flame in my soul. 

The stories and photos of those that I've helped lay bound in books by my bedside. 

Precious. 

Laughter fills the hallway and I smile, imagining the antics happening as I prepare lunch to share on brightly coloured plates. 

The large doors open onto the veranda and the breeze ruffles my hair. 
I look to the horizon, the azure sky and valleys beyond. 

Filling my lungs with the still quiet moments before the chaos ensues. 
Beautiful chaos, love and laughter. 

The stillness and the chaos create a beautiful symphony. 

The dance of my life.

...the orginial writing

...the orginial writing


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How you do one thing is how you do everything...

A week or two ago a created a unique new package... something I didn't initially talk about on here directly because it relates heavily to my design work, but actually now as I reflect upon it more I realise how much it has to do with my coaching work - it's all about connection!

The new package I have just launched is 'The Visibility Package' 

(as showcased on my design website)

In my work as a health and mindset coach, I meet so many inspiring 'wellness-focused' people who have an incredible passion and a powerful mission that I know could help so many... yet their voice and online presence is struggling to be seen and heard above the noise.  Finding ways of powerfully sharing their message, the feels in alignment with who they are, is crucial! (I know from experience!)

the visibility package coaching design blogging

I was talking to a friend about the package yesterday, getting quite animated and excited as I talked, when from out of nowhere these words came out of my mouth...

"you have to connect with yourself to be able to connect with your client" *

...and there lies the truth, the fundamental principle that I am so passionate about as a coach.

In the wellness industry (or really just as regular people on our own personal journey) there is so much competition. But what really, truly, deeply sets you apart on your journey is your ability to rise above the noise and above the superficial to reach out and really connect with your people, your community, your tribe, your clients (*insert most relevant word for you there) BUT in order to do this, you first need to connect with yourself!

A massive part of The Visibility Package AND as I have begun to realise, my coaching work as a whole, is about digger deeper into your own story - you passion and drive but also the messiness and the struggles too. Really owning that.

Yes I know that might sound deep, and you might be thinking...   "but I just have a regular life, nothing special" ...well, actually no you don't.

I have often heard it said that...

"how you do one thing is how you do everything"

...and there's is your second truthbomb. Having an awareness of your actions, walking your talk and really owning and believing your message to the world speaks volumes. Your people will hear it and feel it. I promise.

So at it's core this is what my work as a coach is about, connecting to your deepest sense of self. I am reading a great book at the moment called 'The Highest Goal' by Michael Ray, and it's very similar to what he talks about.

I was going to leave this post here... with two 'truthbombs' for you to sit with and process, but then I figured i'd add the final section that was part of the note I sent out to my mailing list last night...

So now in the spirit of playfulness and curiosity, I have a game for you. Pick ONE of these three options below:

1) You're NOT interested in The Visibility Package but would love to have a conversation about what a deeper connection with yourself would mean for your life... hit reply and let me know where you are at!

2) You ARE interested in learning more about the package (there are two spots already confirmed, and more conversations booked for next week)...
hit reply and let me know asap why you are interested and we'll arrange a time to call/Skype. 

3) You're kind of skimming this post, not really interested in any of it, but these bullet points caught your eye ;-) Then do me (and you) a favour and take a few moments this weekend to have a think about how you are showing up in your world right now, are there some tweaks you could make to bring yourself more into alignment?

So which will it be for you? ;-)

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The journey of Wholeplus... (a birthday reflection)

Facebook reminded me of this picture this morning.

This still gives me tingles every time I see it... I can't believe this is five years ago already.

As I reflect this morning I realise how the journey of Wholeplus is such a powerful reflection of my own personal evolution. So I decided to write it down.

WP launch May2013.jpg

It all began as a tiny spark of an idea off the back of a challenge from a trainer at the gym I go to. I was complaining about the junk filled protein bars that so many people eat after a gym work out intended to better their health. It makes me sad. "Oh right, you try and make something better then" he said, ..."Ok, I will", I responded and I remember feeling surprised by the sense of my inner commitment so deep I knew I would follow through.

And just like that Wholeplus was born.

From the naivety of my curious mind, I had absolutely no idea what lay in store.

I began designing everything from scratch. The branding, the website, the promotional materials, the packaging, the social media growth, the recipes developments ... all my own creation and hours of time experimenting, learning and implementing the technicalities.

It has all evolved so much since.

I originally began with four product lines in three flavours each- the first one being a vegan protein-based product and the second product being tiny cubes (bliss ball style). I spent hours and hours pressing mixture into metal trays and cutting up literally thousands of small cubes with a huge double ended knife. (sore hands!)

November 2013

November 2013

First packaging of the protein product. May 2013

First packaging of the protein product. May 2013

First branding (cringe!!)

First branding (cringe!!)

Over the following 18 months I refined my processes and whittled it down to two products lines in a wider range of flavours - the Hotpots and the Toppers. The Hotpots (instant porridge sachets) were the last to be let go at the end of 2016 due to practicalities of production. They were popular and I still hope to bring them back one day when the time is right.

I forged ahead with the Toppers. The creative sweet sprinkle topping.

From 2014-16 I had loads of orders coming through. It was the time when the subscription box model was newborn and the more I was featured, the more other companies found me and wanted to feature me too.

Then, I got a big Wholesale white label order which brought in a consistent income every other month. This was followed by my biggest order to date. 3000 tubs of Toppers shipped to Germany on a pallet. I had no idea what I was doing, seriously winging it and saying yes to life. In the lead up to that delivery, the entire house was taken up with boxes of product lining the hallway almost floor to ceiling. I employed my dad to help me.

Life was in flow...

Then in late 2016 things slowed dramatically, the subscription box model changed and they no longer paid brands for their product but instead pitched it as a 'free marketing opportunity'. That was a massive game changer for me as there was no way it was viable anymore and it was no longer an income source.

Until that point I had done no real networking or marketing off my own back- everyone had come and found me and I was just riding that wave and creating, creating, creating... I didn't know how to do it on my own!

I paid hundreds of pounds for consultations with the best in the food industry. Getting advice from as many sources as I could find, trying my best to network even though I hate small talk and 'businessy' environment. I felt increasingly overwhelmed as it was all so far out of my comfort zone and relied heavily on investment. I had already spent most of my own savings paying thousands of pounds in buying the food processing equipment I needed to get up and running.

In early 2017 I took some time out to reflect.

What did I want from the business? How did I want it to grow? What did it mean to me? How did I want to be involved in it over the long term?

I knew I was passionate about health, about personal empowerment, about inspiring creativity in others... but how could I channel this into a food product?

I came up with a subscription box model of my own. A monthly delivery box that would feature recipe cards, motivational quotes and build a sense of community over time. The concept was beautiful and I put hours into designing the product and testing the process with customers.

Subscriprion box concept

Subscriprion box concept

But the promotion was hard and laborious. The physical production was now also taking its toll after years all on my own. It drained me and things slowed to a halt before it ever really got started.

For a few months I put it all on the back burner, needing a total break. Then out of the blue an acquaintance asked if I'd be willing to sell the business... my reaction suprised me. 'No, it's my baby, it's my passion, how could I ever sell it!'

That realisation kicked me back into action.

I had no idea how I was going to do it, but somehow I would. But I knew it woudn't be on my own. The Wholeplus philosophy is so much greater than me, it's message needs to be shared with the world, but I cannot do that alone. I needed focus on my skillsets and bring on others to fill in the gaps.

So it re-awakened.

But then there was the packaging dilemma. I was using plastic tubs that I had been unhappy about for a long time. I now had so many boxes of packaging options i'd tried, it was taking over half a room in space. I had been designing and printing all my labels at home on my trusty inkjet to save massive costs and minimum order quantities, but that just wasn't good enough for me any more if I wanted to take this bigger and better...

In January this year I opened up a blank Word document and on it I wrote up a list of 'titles' of people I wanted on board, with me as 'Creative Director'. I kept this in the back of mind in every conversation I had, knowing when the opportunity showed up I would just know.

It happened.

Just yesterday I had a long meeting with the owner of a gym and food business. Someone I have come to know well, someone who complements my skill sets, someone who has the resources for production and investment already set up, and most importantly someone who shares my philosophies.

He proposed moving forward as joint venture, to scale and take things as big as they deserve to be. The idea immediately energised me and I felt a rush of relief, "I'm not alone in this anymore".

We have another meeting to talk details next week. 

On the eve of my 35th birthday, the next chapter in the Wholeplus journey is taking shape.

There are so many times I almost quit. There are times when thing slowed to a bare crawl and it would have been easier to have packed it all up and filed it under a 'learning experience' and channeled my energy elsewhere.

But something still tells me to keep going. Something deep down tells me this will be worth it. Something tells me this has been evolving with me in the just the way it needed to, waiting for it's moment, waiting until the world is ready, waiting until I am ready.

Now I am ready.

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What could you commit to create for 100 days?

I realised recently that I am a bit of a 'commitment-phobe'. Interestingly this didn't used to be the case, but over the last few years as I have been deigning life on my own terms and turning away from comformity and expectation, commitment has subtly become more of a struggle. 

My guess is that in desiring the 'freedom' to create whatever I want in this life, I end up sabotaging my own planning, structure and goals in the process. This is an interesting yet annoying observation for me (but with awareness comes the power to change!), and I can see that it really does not serve me in growing my business.

So that needs to change, and what better way that with a game or challenge, something that has a finite end point (less overwhelming than the idea of infinity!)

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What could you commit to create for 100 days?

For the last couple of years I have watched #the100dayproject from the sidelines... overthinking and procrastinating on what I might do for 100 days. I never took the leap and actually took part.

Fear of commitment? Of failure? Of changing my mind half way through? Of not-good-enoughness... probably all of the above and more (see above!!)

That noise is still there BUT that’s all it is- just noise, the inner voice of fear, the head not the heart.

The way forward is strength of curiosity to simply begin, to celebrate the process, to embrace imperfection along the way, one day at a time...

I signed up to their newsletter and have been receiving updates over the last few weeks, and today as I lie here in the early hours in my hotel room in Vietnam mid way through my trip in a foreign land... I committed. Just like that!

What will I commit to do for 100 days?

I’m going to write an article every day for 100 days! The biggest thing for me will be giving myself permission for it not to be perfect, some articles may well be downright rubbish, or very short... some will never get used, but that doesn’t matter, I just have to consciously write words into the words every day.

So many of my goals this year are centred around writing- a book, articles for a number of magazines I am passionate about, my newsletter and regular blogging.

Thinking, researching and sporadically writing ‘when I feel like it’ is not the answer. It’s time to do the work consistently and find flow.

Who else is intrigued to take part in #the100dayproject? The perfect way to kick off the second quarter of the year!

Please reach out and let me know, I'd love to support you as we embark on this journey together.

Check out the website below for more info, and find all the interviews and inspiration shared so far. Also follow @elleluna and @lindsayjeantomson on Instagram- the founders of this wonderful movement.

WHEN?
Here's the kicker- 'tehnically' the challenge is already a few days in (started April 3rd), but because I was away in Vietnam and have only just been able to get back into my work mode, I'll be kicking off properly tomorrow (Monday 9th). Yes, it might not be ideal, it might not be perfect... BUT it doesn't matter. ;-)

FULL DETAILS HERE: >>> www.the100dayproject.org/ (p.s I am in no way affiliated with this movement, I just love their philosophy)

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Does a plant-based diet increase creativity?

I've been a contributor to The Hectic Vegan Magazine ever since it's launch a year (or two?) ago. There is another issue due out early Spring and I realised I hadn't yet filled you in on the December release!

As per the previous issues, I had a number of recipes featured - these ones were mostly pumpkin focussed ;-)  There was also a special 50% discount on my Not Just For Goldilocks  porridge recipe book!

You can download your digital copy of the magazine (and previous issues) for FREE here! 

But... I am also excited to share another feature that I am so passionate about, that is exploring the link between creativity and a plant-based diet.

It's an absolutely fascinating topic that I am currently delving into more deeply (with a book in mind), a connection that I have experienced deeply in my own life.  This blog was also triggered by a post that caught my eye on the Veganuary Instagram page...

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I have often talked about my philosophy that a plant-based diet goes way beyond the food itself. Once we begin to question one aspect of our lives, our minds open up to explore so much more in terms of how we relate to the world around us.

@@>>>Once we think outside the box, once we shift our perspective, life literally becomes limitless!@@ 

Here is that article, you can click to zoom in (or download the magazine to read it properly!), I love how the designers have illustrated the quotes I gathered from some Facebook research in little speech bubbles (I am a sucker for quirky details!) ;-)

I also see a huge link between the concepts of 'creativity' and 'spirituality' in terms of our connection with our innate sense of self and the bigger picture beyond.. maybe that's a topic for another post, ha ha)

Feel free to chime in with your experiences too - have you noticed an increase in your creativity or spirituality since going plant-based?

I am very keen to hear from those that feel strongly about the subject... and you may well feature in my new book, planning is currently underway and I am aiming to publish it before the summer! Please drop me a note if you'd like to share your thoughts and would be open to having a chat!


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Planning to create a Vision Board?... try this even BETTER alternative!

It's New Year and I am having a day setting goals, creating my new bullet journal and getting myself fully in the mindset to make 2018 a year that matters!

This morning I was sitting on my bed brainstorming when my eyes caught sight of my 'vision strip' by my bedside. I created this last January and it has been growing and evolving with me ever since. I absolutely love it as an inspiration for my goals and dreams and also as an artwork in its own right!

I suddenly had the spontaneous urge to share it as a mini 'how to' with you today! Perfect for New Years dreaming, but of course any time of year.

This is a photo of my bedroom taken with my iPhone on a really dull day, so the photo quality is not great... please no judging! ;-)

This is a photo of my bedroom taken with my iPhone on a really dull day, so the photo quality is not great... please no judging! ;-)

Ok, so I know it's my personal opinion, but I really do believe this idea IS better than a traditional 'board' and this is why... 

  • Takes up less space- a vertical wall hanging is more space effective on most walls around the home/office than a vision board of traditional proportions. (This was a winner for me in the space I had available)
  • Made from part of a simple roll of plain or patterned wallpaper border (can be FREE if you take advantage of the sample offers in DIY stores (a bit cheeky!) or if you use an offcut you may already have stored away from your decorating adventures!)
  • Paperclips to fasten mean that nothing is permanent and the vision board of inspiration can adapt and evolve as your dreams do through the months and years.
  • You can begin with a little and add as you go, if you use a patterned border (as I have) it still looks great on the wall even if it is not yet very full of inspiration!
  • One simple hanging point- no more curled or dog-eared edges, sticky marks on the walls, awkward fixings, trying to make sure it hangs straight etc.
  • You can choose to arrange ideas/inspirations chronologically going upwards or downwards if you wish.

Convinced? ;-)

Here's how to easily make your own vision strip...

  1. Get yourself a length of wide wallpaper border (approx 6" is ideal), between 2.5-3 meters in length, making sure it is not the sort that has a sticky back.

  2. Decide how long you want it to hang down and then roll the excess into a roll at the top (it will naturally do that anyway), you want to make sure you have a few rolls to that it is sturdy.

  3. Thread a length of yarn (use approx. 1 metre length) through the rolled up section a couple of times which keeps it tightly together, then bring both ends up to the top and tie in a knot at the centre a few inches above (see middle right-hand photo above).

  4. Pin/fasten the knot firmly to the wall or ceiling as appropriate- I used a simple drawing pin into the wall as the ceiling did not hold it so well (gravity and flaky ceiling finish!)

  5. Carefully adjust the hanging length as desired (mine hangs down approx 1.6 meters) and fasten the bottom to the wall with a blob of sticky tack or similar

  6. Fill your Vision Strip with things that inspire your goals and dreams- I use paper clips to attach things but use what works for you.

  7. Keep a row of spare paper clips on the side ready to attach new inspirations. 

Wonderful optional extra...

I found a length of battery powered fairy light mini-lanterns in a pound shop that was the perfect length of my vision strip. This makes it comes alive with beautiful sparkly energy when I'm working or reading in my room at night!

I simply hide the battery pack in the centre of the excess roll at the top (see photo below- though I usually tuck the battery pack further in) and simply let the lights drape down the side!

vision strip 6.jpg
vision strip 7.jpg

Have you ever made a vision board... or do you fancy giving this a go!

I'd love to see your creations, and if you have any 'vision boarding' tips to share please do so!

My biggest love in life is creativity and the space that awakens within us all when we allow ourselves to get in touch with our innate creative energy- we all have it! I encourage you to give this project as go and see how it make you feel!


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2017 close out: my biggest lesson (and my New Year intention!)

I hadn't planned to write a 'year in review' style post, as everyone else in the blogosphere had written them and to be honest I felt a bit overloaded with a case of comparisonitis creeping up on me in the lead up to Christmas.

But, now having had a few more days to sit and quietly reflect, a few truths made themselves know and it was a humbling process of self-acknowledgement that I wanted to share with you in the spirit of authenticity and as offering you a 'permission giving' of sorts. 

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It's 30th December and just over halfway through that 'odd' bit between Christmas and New Year when there is no sense of routine, time or direction. Time seems to stand still. Truth be told (apart from Christmas day) this is my absolute favourite time of year! The world slows down and time is suspended.

Space for reflection, creation, decluttering, reading and absolutely zero sense of expectation or obligation. Bliss!

So, it is pretty much inevitable that my minds bounced between looking back on the year whilst at the same time future focussing on the next.

There was one main truth that hit me. Quite hard at first, but then with a sense of gentle self-forgiveness and understanding. 

My biggest reaslisation this year...

I have been very lonely at times.

Gosh, it feels super vulnerable to admit that. I feel I need to back it up with an explanation, to justify it and make it seem less pathetic. 

The loneliness was a steady creep throughout the year hitting hardest this Autumn though I only realised it retrospectively! (often the way, right?)

When I reflected on how this came to be I realised there were two big contributing factors:

  1. At the end of 2016 I gave myself permission to step away from going to local networking groups and events that I felt I 'should' be doing as a business owner and instead focus on growing my business in other ways. I had noticed I was getting 'people-out' and drained from small talk (I've always hated small talk) so I just stopped going, BUT what I didn't realise was that, as a result, I was then spending a lot more time on my own in my own head where overthinking tends to happen!
  2. For four years I had been having weekly sessions with a Personal Trainer who was also one of my best friends. The sessions were at a regular time and outside. At the end of July he moved away and so suddenly I lost my time spent with a good friend, structured exercise, a weekly anchor point and time outside in nature come rain or shine... massively significant! (although I had not appreciated just how much until very recently)

What have a learned?

That small subtle consistent things can have a massive impact over time- both positive and negative.  

Just like structured consistent training with a PT can steadily increase your strength and fitness, the cumulative effect of not socialising on a structured consistent basis (which is basically what happened) can massively impact your emotional stability.

It was a massive eye-opener for me! The good news is, that now I have recognised what went wrong I can implement changes to address the balance for the coming year.

Instead of a New Year's resolution I set an 'intention' that I seek to grow into over the course of the year. This allows space for play and exploration and for messing up and learning in a way that a resolution doesn't (for me anyway!)

My intention is summarised in a word... a word for the year that has deep meaning for me and a need to explore more.

In 2016 it was 'experiences' (I travelled a lot and thoroughly lived out that intention)

In 2017 it was 'consistency', something I have struggled with. This does not come naturally at all for me- my ADHD brain sabotages feeling pigeonholed and so it is still a work in progress!

In 2018 my word for the year will be: 'Connection'.

Connection within myself and with others. I will seek to deepen the nature of my connections but also my boundaries in order to stay true and authentic to myself. 

I'm excited to explore where this may lead and what 'connection' might look like on my own terms!

There are plenty other things I could say about the year and about my goals for 2018 as I reflected on what had gone well and what not so well. But my most important lesson was our innate need for human connection that I had been depriving myself of without realising and so I won't dilute this significance with other side notes and thoughts.

It makes me smile as I have long been a fan of Brene Brown. I have all five of her books (having received the last two for Christmas) and a big part of her work is the role of connection. Therefore finding her quote “We are hardwired to connect with others, it's what gives purpose and meaning to our lives and without it there is suffering” brought it all full circle for me, and I enter 2018 with a new level of clarity.

Now, I'd love to hear from you, what was your biggest lesson of 2017 and what is your goal or intention to take forward into 2018?  

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When 'taking action' weighs you down... shift your perspective

This afternoon I had a wonderful conversation with a lady who had been a client some years back. 

It had been a while since we’d spoken and much had shifted in both our lives. She opened up about feeling ‘stuck’ and almost ‘numb’, like a rabbit in headlights- not fearful but simply frozen and stuck. 

She didn’t understand why.

We dived in deeper and the notion of needing to ‘take action’ became apparent and this was aligned with a sense of needing to ‘do more’ that was likely creating the stuckness in the first place. 

The fascinated me.

I can relate to the idea of ‘taking action’ being a positive method of creating momentum and flow, YET for me this does not automatically align with ‘doing more’. On the flipside, that taking action can also involve consciously ‘letting go’.

I had a sudden sense that there was huge resistance anchoring her down and the vision of someone trying to drag a heavy weight came to my mind. 

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I shared a story from the times when I entered lots of muddy obstacle course races and often the trials would involve dragging something like massive heavy tractor tyres across bumpy ground, feet slipping in the mud finding it difficult to gain the traction and build momentum to move forward. 

But there is a beauty when we realise we can step back and approach things from another angle. We can create a powerful shift that requires less effort for a better result. 

If you try to move the heavy tyre by pulling on it with your arms alone, your feet slide out from under you and nothing moves. You just end up flat out on the floor, feeling exhausted, going nowhere. 

Yet if you change your direction by 180˚ and instead, from behind push the weight through your arms by using the force of your legs to drive the momentum, everything changes.

It's often the subtle shifts in orientation, mental awareness and strategy that can get us unstuck.

But, maybe there is also another approach...

When you stare down at the heavy weight you're connected to, ask yourself who put it there? 

Did you walk into the arena willingly and attach yourself to it knowingly, with a greater goal and clear sense of purpose, or was it quietly hooked on when you weren’t looking, without your permission or awareness.

Is it something that no longer serves you or maybe never even did?

In any given moment, instead of aimlessly dragging that heavy weight through the mud we can choose to reconnect with our goal, we can choose to ask for help, we can choose to share the load... or we can choose to let go entirely and conserve our energy to move on and embrace our next challenge.

What does 'taking action' mean for you, and are there places where you feel 'stuck' and might need to change your approach to?

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Why I'm not a vegan activist... and the approach I take instead.

I saw this picture post shared by the Veganuary team on Facebook earlier today. I went to automatically click the 'share' button, but as my finger hovered over the keyboard I took a moment to reflect on what it meant to me.

I knew there was a deeper story there waiting to be explored.

I cast my mind back in time to 2011 and relived those emotions. These were the words that flowed out of my mind into the text space.

Then I pressed 'share'.  

P.s if you want to read more about my transition to veganism, you'll enjoy this mini story!

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I never try to push veganism on people (if I find myself getting too vocally passionate I consciously tone it down!)

That is not because I am not passionate about a plant-based way of living and minimising harm to the environment around us BUT because I know that before I made the switch back in 2011 my ex-boyfriend tried to force his ethical views upon me and it did not work.

It created so many negative feelings of resistance, frustration, rebellion and denial within me compared with the mindset of curiously learning and feeling inspired to change through observing his actions alone and sharing information when asked.

It shut me down instead of opening me up to possibility and change.

I can still feel that resistance and disconnect inside me now when faced with the black and white 'militant vegan' approach. I fear it overwhelms those who are curious to explore more.

We are all on a journey, none of us are perfect and we've all been there at the very beginning. (No judgment on those activists who follow this more approach, if it works for you great, it just doesn't vibe with me personally).

Still, the seed had been planted and I found my own path to plant-based living, via nutritional education and then found the ethical side crept up on me slowly over time.

That is my hope for Including Cake and my work as a coach, to simply inspire people in their own journey of discovery wherever it may lead. No pressure, no judgement, just a willingness to open your mind beyond the conditioning of society. Questioning why we do the things we do and no longer accepting 'because that's just what I have always done' as a valid answer.

BUT... i'll be totally honest, when someone messages me to tell me they've become a 'week day vegan' or have permanently switched out dairy for plant milks, or are consciously evaluating all their nutritional and lifestyle choices... through being inspired by how I show up in the world, I can't help but feel so full of love, happiness and hope inside!

It's not just about saving the world, it's taking the steps to saving yourself and stepping away from the expectations of society.

We can all make so much more difference than we realise.

It may sound cheesy (pun intended!) but it's true, it really is all I want for Christmas!

Take on the Veganuary challenge and give plant-based living a try for 31 days in January and see what shifts for you. This is the perfect introduction without feeling the overwhelm of 'infinity' and also a supportive playground to get creative and explore alongside so many others feeling the same way. I guarantee you'll discover so much more abut yourself than you would have ever imagined.

I'd love to hear your stories... if you are already vegan what most helped you make that transition. What educational approach worked for you? Or, where are you at in your journey and where would you like to be?

P.s reach out to me if you want some support and let's have an open conversation!

With much love on your journey,

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Why I made a mountain of falafel... and the 'Small Adjustments Challenge'

I made this huge pile of baked falafel this morning (and I had even more leftover chickpeas!) ...it's ALL for me and there is a good reason for it!

I'll fill you in below and link to the recipe (cos it's awesome) but first I want to give you some context and the birth of an idea.

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A few weeks ago I went on a coaching retreat hosted by the Extraordinary Coach. It was an incredibly powerful and intense experience in which we shared our truths and vulnerability on video camera in front of the whole room (I'll share more on that once my video has been published). As part of that process one of the ladies shared a powerful insight about 'small adjustments' and what impact that could have in her life. It has stuck with me ever since. 

We typically spend so much time focusing on the big goals and life events and in doing so we overlook the significance that small, sometimes tiny shifts can make in our lives, especially when repeated over time. I'll hold my hand up and be the first to admit that I struggle with doing things consistently (oooh look shiny new thing to distract me!) but equally I know the power it holds when I do and so I am committing to finding ways to create more consistency that doesn't overwhelm me and lead to sabotage.

Once I'm overwhelmed I'm done for... can you relate? ;-)

Consistent action can be supported by accountability, particularly in the first few weeks before it becomes a habit. So, whilst out for a walk yesterday I came up with an idea for a 30 day challenge to serve both you and me... I think it's a win-win!

The key thing here (and I believe in life I general) is to have a mindset of curiosity... that is so often the key to overcoming overwhelm. This challenge should be fun, there will be a sense of accountability and opportunities to check in with yourself and me throughout the process.

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So quite simply here it is:

1- Pick a small adjustment that you feel could make a signficant difference to your life. It must be SMALL and only ONE thing!

Notes: I've given a few examples below to get your mind moving and also filled you in on what mine is going to be. You can pick what ever you like purely on the basis that you feel it will have a significant positive impact for you personally. Just pick one thing, I know how easy it can be to get excited at the start and pick multiple things only to find the novelty wears off after a few days and you fall off the wagon and beat yourself up- yep I hear ya, I do it too!  This is a personal challenge with no public declaration or Facebook group (yup, those not on social media can rejoice!) although of course please keep in touch with me via email as we progress. ;-)

2- Commit to making that one 'small adjustment' everyday for 30 days: November 20th - December 20th.

3- Pop your details in the box below to confirm you are up for the challenge so that you get further weekly challenge specific emails from me.

Note: All this does is add a tag in my mailing list to let me know you'd like to receive the extra special emails so that I don't send them to the rest of my community who have chosen not to get involved. If you do not pop your details in the link you won't hear from me about this again. Simple!

4- Send me an email before 20th November to let me know that you are in and what your 'small adjustment' will be.

5- Mark the date in your diary and get ready to kick off on November 20th with a mindset of curiosity to see what unfolds over the 30 days...

Some examples and my commitment...

I have noticed recently that when I snack between meals it is typically on sweeter higher carb things e.g granola, energy balls, fruit etc which triggers my sweet tooth more and I'm more likely to overeat.

One choice could be to cut out snacking altogether but I know that would likely lead me to overwhelm and sabotage and does not feel sustainable for me long term (a vision of long term is not a necessity but something I personally want to feel a possibility), so my 'small adjustment' will be to swap all my snacks throughout the day to healthy savoury options (see, now you'll undertand my pile of falafel! - I'll follow up with more details in a separate blog post shortly.) I can still have sweet things as dessert... just not as snacks!

How about you? Whether you decide to take the challenge or not I'd love to hear what ideas you come up with. This is about a focus on creativity and habit shifting NOT restriction and overwhem. A great approach to life in general!

Some other ideas could be...

  • Drink a big mug of lemon water every morning (you know how much I love this!)
  • Exercise for 10 minute each day ( or even 5 minutes!)
  • Walk or cycle any journey that is less than 10 minutes by foot instead of using the car
  • Wake up 20 minutes early each morning and use that time to read or meditate 
  • Have one less coffee/can of coke per day
  • Swap the biscuits at break time for a healthy snack
  • Have one les sugar in your mug of tea, or swap your regular tea to herbal varieties. 
  • Tell your loved ones that you love them every single day

This list could be virtually limitless, right? So less keep it going...

I'd love to hear your ideas too. Whether you decide to take the challenge or not ping me a reply with any ideas and I'll compile a big list!

P.s Yes I said I'd link to the recipe. I haven't written it up on the blog yet though I will do at some point, but in actual fact I followed this recipe by Mark Bittman pretty much exactly (rare for me as I nearly always change things!) so simple and so so good. Perfect healthy baked falafel which freezes well too... that's what i'll be doing with my mountain! 

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What does your dance look like, and are you still stuck in rehearsal mode? 

I was looking through old photo albums a few weeks ago and found photos of me when I went to dance school in my early years. I was always an active child and though I didn’t dance for as many years as my friends (I quite quickly moved on to other sports- the more physical the better!) I loved performing on the big stage in the costumes my poor mum had to painstakingly hand sew - yep, she also had to make all the poms poms and all the polka dots in this photo of me as a clown aged nine! ;-) 

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Reflecting back to these times, and my hyperactive nature as a child and now as an adult, I realise I spend so much of my life feeling in a mental conflict as though I am 'dancing between the extremes’.

The extremes of my high and lows feel ecstatic, explosive, creative and mind-blowingly awesome, yet equally incredibly overwhelming, draining and confusing on the other extreme. Sometimes I wish I could simply turn the volume right down so that the dance was easier, smoother and slower, more consistent and the moves less intense. But I know that would make for a monotonous dance.

I have so many ideas spinning off at all angles and desires to chase them all, and indeed I do find myself bringing to life so many different ideas and spreading myself so thinly. But then in the same breath, I talk of simplicity and of decluttering and of tiny houses and of desire for a simple life and a clear focus (my Pinterst boards give some idea!)

I have spent time stripping back my belongings and getting rid of ‘stuff’ and material things. But at the same time I am collecting more art and craft materials and filling my kitchen cupboards with an array of interesting foodie ingredients to create recipes with.

I crave speed, the adrenaline kick, the hard-core gym classes and packing lots into my days. But at the same time I dream of solitude, silence, nature and yoga, a life away from the overstimulation of TV and technology.

I go from multi-tasking at every waking moment, then stop completely and want to run away from even the simplest task and sit in silence.

I talk of travelling the world with nothing more than a suitcase, of having no fixed abode and becoming a digital nomad. But then I create businesses that have a location dependence, I collaborate on physical events that are location specific.

I rebel against routine and sabotage any move that might box me in, yet in the same moment, I crave structure to ground me and keep me sane and my mind on track.

So many times I have been in conversation with coaches, colleagues or spiritual leaders voicing my frustration in not being able to reign in these extremes, of my desire for a more even energy flow, less fluctuation and more consistency. 

But when I sit with that energy, that frustration, and feel fully into my resistance I acknowledge with a sense of deep acceptance, that’s just how I roll. That’s my own unique dance… dynamic and spontaneous, filled with high energy and emotion, buffered by dramatic pauses for breath, bouncing between one extreme and the other. 

Life is a dance… you can speed up, you can slow down, you can pause for a breath, you can even repeat a few bars… but it's still all part of the rhythm and flow of that one endless dance and it makes for beautiful choreography.

My job as choreographer of my own dance is to work with the rhythm and not against it. To breathe deeply in the right places to create the intense energy, to stretch my limbs and test my balance and flexibility when the moment is right, to use the pauses to rest and recalibrate, to allow the repetitions for they themselves create a sense of structure, connection and familiarity.

The more I practice the less energy I will waste where it is not needed.

Curtailing and reigning in the highs and lows of my personal dance softens all the edges, it is not selective. It becomes like a rehearsal behind-the-scenes just marking out the moves before being ready to play full out.
 
I still find myself frequently falling back into this mode. But I now know that if I am always practising in rehearsal mode, I will never be able to truly perfect my craft, to grow and develop. Stepping out onto the dance floor, under the spotlights, playing full out, learning, falling and carrying on will always be better than never stepping out from the safety of the wings.

They say life is not a dress rehearsal and as cliched as it may sound, it is so very true. 

I still often wish my dance were smoother and slower, more consistent and the moves less intense. But that would never hold my interest, and it wouldn't hold your either. It’s simply not the nature of my dance and it never will be. I must honour that. If I try to reign myself in, life may feel easier but I will always be stuck in rehearsal mode… never playing full out. Never reaching my full potential.

What does your dance look like, and are you still stuck in rehearsal mode? 

Loving you always,

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Courage is in the choosing...

A couple of weeks ago I was very privileged to be invited into conversation with a good friend - a wonderful coach and fellow creative Ann Skinner a.k.a. The 'Heartworker'She was leading a 7-day challenge called 'Awaken Your GREATfullness' ahead of the launch of her Heartworkers Academy. I was invited as the very first guest speaker on the theme of courage!

So many things running through my mind when she reached out to invite me, namely the first being; "but I'm not courageous".  I had to sit with that thought for quite a long time, and reflect on what courage meant to me, before admitting that it wasn't true- I have indeed shown a lot of courage. 

If you'd love to watch the whole conversation here it is below, it is a wonderful exploration of what courage means (I join in the conversation around 25 minutes in).

 

 

Upon reflecting on courage what first came to mind is whether there is a difference between courage and bravery. My conclusion is that there was.  Bravery is facing a physical fear where is courage is facing an emotional fear. These are the two extremes and in reality, there are huge overlaps but I feel these are the subtle distinctions.

A moment of courage might be very insignificant to others yet holds huge meeting for us. Courage is a personal recognition and is often present in life's small moments. Whereas bravery is typically something that everyone could recognise- a physical act that we could all relate to being tough to deal with.

I then took to Google to see what there else there was to say. This idea stood out to me:

Courage and bravery are generally considered to be synonyms, yet philosophically, the two nouns differ in meaning. Courage involves the presence of fear, while bravery lacks it. Courage entails a cause, most commonly love, passion, compassion, concern, etc. Bravery maintains its essence even without a cause. Courage is a result of mindfulness; it is one’s decision to fight despite one’s fears. Bravery is an inherent characteristic; it doesn’t involve much thinking and manifests itself as second nature in those who are brave.

I love these distinctions between the physical and emotional fears. There is a much greater emotional risk attached to courage, which is why it feels easier to be courageous on behalf of others instead of ourselves.

There is also an intrinsic link between vulnerability and courage, indeed one of my favourite quotes from Brene Brown, a wonderful pioneer in the realms of vulnerability, is: 

You can't get courage without walking through vulnerability - Brene Brown

I have long found the studies around vulnerability fascinating, having written about it before. For me, showing vulnerability has become quite familiar, a daily practice. As such, to an extent it has become part of my comfort zone and the vulnerability around sharing those parts of me has subsided.

In my conversation with Ann, we discussed that initially when we do difficult things we feel the fear, yet after we have done it, it becomes the new norm and therefore we don't even think we have courage. We forget that we are courageous. Looking back and recognising that we have shown courage throughout our lives helps us to reclaim it as we go forwards.

One thing I have become very aware of in recent times, is that when someone else sees something in me, I don’t dismiss it. Who am I to say ‘I’m not courageous’, If you see that in me then it holds truth. It’s not for me to cast away your perception. Just because I can’t see my greatness, it doesn’t mean it's not there. I have slowly learnt to allow that in despite my inner dialogue often telling me otherwise! It is having an incredibly powerful impact on my life and my perception of self.

I still find myself with a battle in my mind "people don't wanna hear this stuff, I'm just a recipe blogger", ...no, "I'm a life architect and I help shift peoples thought processes and awaken creativity".  

I do that mental dance back and forth every day and it takes courage to choose the latter.

A game changer for me was The Crossroads Of Should And Must. A book I was gifted last Christmas- see the original Medium article by Elle Luna that inspired her book.

Courage is in the choosing. 

...This is what is expected of me, this is what society dictates, this is what has been done before BUT actually this is what my heart is telling me.

There might not be obvious reason and logic, the decisions that you take are often ones that don't make sense to somebody else. This takes huge courage, to forge ahead regardless.

This feels very true for me and my vegan story. I shifted to a vegan diet whilst in a previous relationship, so when that relationship ended and I fell back into my old life and routines, everyone around me expected me to snap out of that 'phase' of my life. It took huge courage to stand up and say 'this is who I am now'. The need for courage kept on growing- the first time I ate out at a restaurant, my first Christmas as a vegan, gifts from friends and family that didn't fit into my new life perspective. It was a huge act of courage in those moments which has become easier and easier over time.

Every time we wake up in the morning, whether we are conscious of it or not we have a choice, and one path is always going to require more courage than another. It’s about what we choose to lean into that in any given moment.  

It also takes courage to recognise and own the times where we didn’t choose courage and accepting that. 

Thinking back to the 'crossroads' - we might not choose the path of courage every time, we might only choose it 1 in 10 times. But, that doesn’t mean we are not courageous. If in every moment there is some aspect of choice, and courage involved in that choice, then of course we are not going to choose courage every time- we are not super heroes- we are only human.

We all have days where we choose no courage at all. It's not about all the times we didn’t, it’s focussing on all the times we did and recognising that.

Like vulnerabilty, courage has a ripple effect. It is permission giving. If you recognise and share your own courage it enables people to step into their own. This is so incredibly powerful for me in my work as a coach.

I will end these thoughts on a final quote on vulnerability by Brene Brown, something I'd love you to consider and to reach out to me if you'd like to explore more how this might be showing up in your life.

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.” 
 


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