Today post is a little different.
It's from the heart. Wait, no scrap that, I always write from the heart offering you insights and recipes that I have learned, experienced and created with you in mind. But more recently I have also tried to offer you more honesty, to share my own vulnerabilities so that you feel able to share you own and we can learn and grow through life together.
Life can thrown me a curve ball these last few weeks and has created a huge reality check in my life.
It's been a little quiet on this page this last week as I've had so much going on in the background with Wholeplus... new food processors, bigger orders, steep learning curves...ore on all this very soon!
But as well as that an unexpected reality check has stopped me in my tracks.
My dad retired from him job a few weeks ago. He had been a teacher working long exhausting hours, with inadequate sleep for the past few decades. Without realising it he had been running on a constant 'fight or flight' mode to fuel the long hours and constant demands on his attention time and attention.
When he stopped running, his body couldn't. The adrenaline that once had an outlet no longer has a place in to vent and as a result full blown anxiety has resulted, the symptoms and root cause of which will take time to heal. It's so hard seeing him like this and of course I am doing what I can to support by way of diet, supplements and company (he eats a clean vegan diet like me anyway).
However the thing that I have found hardest is the mirror it holds to my own life. I know that my balance between my 'primary and secondary' foods needs work, I just didn't realise to what extent. From a food and fitness perspective I feel pretty sorted, I am happy with where I am and feel I have a lot of offer to help others find their own niche. BUT when it comes to 'primary foods' which are the aspects of life that aren't nutritionally based... the parts of your life that make up the biggest part of your day and the parts that directly feed into your emotional wellbeing, for me they still need a lot of work.
I think this is the same for a lot of people. It is very easy to address the physical problems with physical things. I need to lose weight "go on a diet", I need to get fit "try these exercises", I need to stop drinking alcohol "try this instead". It is also very easy to gloss over the impact of our mental health and undervalue the extent to whilst it infiltrates all aspects of our lives, including to a huge extent our nutritional struggles. The physical problems are often not treatable by a 'physical answer'. Very often we not what we need to do and the get frustrated when we just can't seems to do it. There are reasons beyond food that mean people struggle to loose weight and overcome cravings. This is where out attention should be focussed.
I have talked before how I am 'a work in progress' as I think we all are, all out lives. We are always growing, learning and exploring and the more aware of this process we are, sometimes the more overwhelming it can feel, particularly at first or without support. There is often relief in the notion of 'ignorance is bliss' but ignorance is not a place of growth or of reaching your potential.
Going forward I am prioritising work on my own 'primary foods'. I am not sure how yet but in reflecting now in this moment I can already pinpoint a few key areas to begin taking small steps towards. For example I am always running two minutes late for everything, as i'm rushing to my appointment or my gym class I can literally feel the adrenaline surging through my veins. This is not a good thing, and with the huge wake up call in my dad's symptoms I realise now how important it is to gain control of these aspects of my life. Its not something I will be able to do on my own, support from friends and family will be key to keep me on track.
The first step to healing is acknowledgement. By that I mean true, deep, committed acknowledgement. Accept yourself where are right now, that’s your start point. If you have been nodding your head as you've been reading this post, and saying half-heartedly yeah I know I need to deal with this too. Take a few minutes to stop and think. How committed are you to changing your life? It won't be easy as the depths of our mental and emotional wellness are intangible, often difficult to describe or understand, it also run deep within us and in moving from the state of ignorance to acknowledgement can often create a sense of feeling worse before feeling better.
If you are ready, then so am I.
When the time is right for you I am here to support your own wellness journey every step of the way. Drop me an email here if you want a complimentary chat, to vent or simply some reassurance. Whatever you do, know that you can do this but also know you don't have to do it alone.
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