Today I have an interview for you coming from a perspective that absolutely fascinates me!
Today I'm talking about weight loss... but not as you know it!
David Taylor, the transformation coach behind Coaching Unlimited blew away my perspective on habits, goals, identity and most of all the power to change. I first met David in person just over a week ago when he ran a coaching intensive called 'Be The Miracle'. He shared many of his own stories during the course of the weekend, and this one in particular simply wouldn't leave my mind... I had to know more, so I shot him an email and we set up an interview.
This audio interview is well worth a listen (all 35 minutes of it I promise!) not just from a perspective of weight loss but to shed light on those aspects of the human mind that we all succumb too and the thought processes in which we can all apply the same principles to any aspect of our lives... Those habits and mindsets that sabotage us regardless of the best intentions!
I have provided some bullet point 'show notes' below which highlight top things we cover if you want to jump about or go back again and listen...(I had to!)
p.s It's the first time I have interviewed anyone- so please bare with me :-)
2.42 It’s never about the weight. I didn’t lose weight. I let go of fears. Fear of missing out. The fear if we don’t have something (i.e cake or seconds) we are missing out in some way. By letting go of that fear it was so much easier to eat less- complete control. There was no eating for emotional reasons.
5.50 How you do anything is how you do everything.
7.25 We can never get enough of what you do not really need. The fear of not feeling ‘full’. I’d fill up with food until I was stuffed but I could never get enough of what I didn’t really need. Other people might binge watch TV, obsessively play commuter games etc. By letting go of this fear you can totally change your relationship to food.
11.25 Create a sense of ‘moving towards’. Create an identity of the person you want to be. The person in the mirror and your identity need to be aligned- as humans we strive for this. Move towards the identity you have created. How would that person eat? Exercise? Think? Consciously I didn’t ‘stop’ anything. I moved towards…
11.50 Identity had always been consistent but it was the behaviours that were inconsistent. The trigger to change happened when the reality became too great and awareness of that reality kicked in. From there- what are the one of two little things that could make a difference- not needing the dessert, not having seconds. Once those decisions were made it became an instant change.
18.11 I did not set a goal, I set an identity. This take away the overwhelm. It take away the potential for judgement, failure or disappointment.
20.54 Gaining lightness rather than losing weight. Losing is about missing out, negative language, scarcity etc. Gaining is about moving forward in alignment with your identity.
22.58 Focus on the things you can have rather than the things you can’t. Art Berg- quadriplegic. "Before I had my accident there were 10,000 things I could do with my life. After I had my accident there were still 9,000 things I could do with my life that I would never have time for. I could focus on them or I could focus on the 1000 things I could no longer do". If you focus on the 1000 then scarcity, fear and restriction will show up all the time. It does not serve you.
29.00 Create appreciation for food. Eat the same just less. When I was eating from a space of fear of missing out then I was eating to ‘fill up’ with things I didn’t really need. But now I am really enjoying what I eat. I have slowed down and can appreciate the fullness in a deeper way.
30.35 Find out what is a 10 for you and fill up on that. It’s not about the weight. The fear of missing out shows up everywhere. Find out what the true thing is for you and fill up with that and you’ll find yourself being full really quickly. What are the drivers behind your eating/relationships/sex life/career? They can all become dysfunctional if you are driven by the fears. Recognise those fears.
I'd really love to hear what you think... please please let me know in the comments below!
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